“Can God Leave Us?”

LIVING FROM A HEALED HEART

One of the most fundamental issues people struggle with is the fear of abandonment. Actually, this issue is probably present to some degree in all of us. What would it mean if God abandoned us? Does our “sin separate us from God?” We know that in eternity we will be separated from God unless we place our trust in His Son, but what about while we walk this earth? Can he leave us? Does he leave us?

In these two short video clips, we answer these questions, based on the nature of God’s heart for us. We share our understanding from Scripture–particularly from the New Testament and through the Father’s gift of Jesus. Check it out.

Click on the videos below to view:

We hope you will share this blog post on your own social media sites and direct those you know to our ministry and publication sites. 

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“True Self Versus False Self . . . Which Is It?”

LIVING FROM A HEALED HEART

Many years ago, I (Jerry) operated significantly out of my false self. I didn’t realize it at the time but there were indicators that this was true. For example, I could not be vulnerable or transparent; I always had to “measure up” and I definitely could not fail. I often hid my imperfections and my insecurities and I struggled with addictive tendencies. I was a “nice guy” but I did not feel very much at all. In essence, “no one was really home on the inside.” This did not change until God captured my heart and began to dismantle my ways to hide and self-protect. Walking through a painful healing process revealed a part of me—my true self—that I didn’t even know existed. Finding my true, God-given self allowed me to know my calling and destiny, and it is the main reason I became a counselor and I can share…

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“Hiding From Love”

LIVING FROM A HEALED HEART

We remember asking a client to tell us which defense mechanisms he used in his life. All of a sudden, he started singing the lyrics to Simon and Garfunkel’s famous song, I Am a Rock (Used by paid permission). “I am a rock; I am an island. And a rock feels no pain; and an island never cries.”  Whoa! We call this defense mechanism self-sufficiency and self-reliance—and he lived life from this position. How does that work in relationships? Not very well. Sadly, not very well at all. Like others, he learned at an early age how to survive, but never how to live.

One young man told us that he was severely physically abused as a boy. He remembers lying in bed at night, afraid that monsters would come and get him (like his dad did when he was angry). He followed rigid rules of checking…

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“Why Do I Try to Make Everyone Happy?”

LIVING FROM A HEALED HEART

In dysfunctional homes, children develop certain “roles.” The five classic roles that are most commonly referenced are the enabler, the hero, the scapegoat, the lost child, and the mascot. A child doesn’t necessarily function only in one role all of the time. In this first video clip below, Denise shares how one of the roles she assumed as a child was that of the mascot (sometimes referred to as the clown) and why this occurred.

In the second video clip, Jerry shares from his own experience how tension in the home can cause a child to become very hypervigilant, and why this can be so damaging.

Click on the videos below to view these two clips:

We encourage you to share this blog post on your own social media sites. Another way you can help is to direct those you know to our social media sites—including this blog. Here…

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“What in the World Drives My Actions?”

LIVING FROM A HEALED HEART

Whenever we counsel, we are always looking for the “drivers” that are causing problems in our behavior and in our relationships. As we shared in a previous video, one of the most powerful drivers is “lie-based, toxic shame.” In this first video clip below, Jerry shares examples of how these drivers manifested in his life.

In the second video clip, Denise shares the importance of foundational trust in our development and how a breach in this area can negatively affect us years later. As you will hear, when dysfunctional behaviors and patterns of relating appear due to broken trust and other childhood wounds, we are often clueless as to why. It is at these times that we eventually begin to believe a lie that says, “That’s just the way I am.”

Click on the videos below to view these two clips:

We encourage you to share this blog post on…

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“Storms”

LIVING FROM A HEALED HEART

We all experience storms in our lives—storms that are unexpected, damaging, out of our control, costly. As we recently watched the fury of Hurricane Irma devastating the Florida Keys, we never dreamed that her destructive power would lash out at us in Georgia—the first tropical storm in history to hit the North Georgia Mountains. As the sheets of rain poured down and the gusts of wind increased, our trees started churning in circles. After dark, all we could hear were the snaps and thuds of trees falling in our back yard—praying that none would hit our house. The next morning, our former lawn was covered in trees and branches. The root balls of huge oak trees were pulled totally out of the ground.

Ironically, no matter where we live geographically, personal “Irma” storms will unexpectedly hit our lives. When we are counseling, we watch the Father cleaning up the…

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“Now Available–‘The Missing Commandment: Love Yourself’ Video Clips“

LIVING FROM A HEALED HEART

We are excited to announce the release of the 1st of 35 short video clips that address various topics from our book, The Missing Commandment: Love Yourself—How Loving Yourself the Way God Does Can Bring Healing and Freedom to Your Life. These video clips are from one to five minutes in length and are taken from a seminar we conducted in Sanibel, Florida. Titles of these clips include How does “hidden” shame show up in my life?; What in the world drives my actions?; What if I feel God has walked out of my life?; How do I climb over my loved one’s walls of shame?; “God loves me.” Why do I beat myself up? and many more.

Click on the video below to view Video Clip 1:

The Great Disconnect: “I Know Jesus Loves Me, But . . . “

Will You Help Us Get the Word Out?

One…

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“What the Mother Heart Reveals About God”

LIVING FROM A HEALED HEART

For some, the book and movie, The Shack, by Wm. Paul Young, has been life changing. It has helped many who have struggled with experiencing God as unapproachable and capricious. It is “good news” to discover that God deeply cares and strongly desires to be with us. He always acts with our best interests at heart—even when we don’t understand why bad things happen in our lives.

For some, The Shack became a stumbling block due its portrayal of God as a woman—an African American woman–and received criticism from many for what it did or did not biblically communicate. Our thoughts? We believe the picture of God in The Shack portrays the true heart of God from Scripture, especially when we, like Mack, experience suffering and tragedy in our lives and need to know his heart for us. This far outweighs any criticisms we have read.

God is neither male…

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“How Long, O Lord?”

LIVING FROM A HEALED HEART

The most important thing we ever hope for from God is God Himself. Hope that He will be with us in our troubles. Not necessarily for Him to take our troubles away, but always to be there— under us to hold us up, ahead of us to lead the way, behind us to push us along, over us to keep an eye on us, and in us to keep alive our hopes of getting beyond our troubles. –Lewis Smedes     

I (Denise) was up in the attic recently and I came up0n a box filled with all my old journals. I thought of writing a note on the box, “Do not read what is in this box. Please discard unopened box in the trash.” However, knowing human curiosity, a request like that would probably guarantee every journal being read in detail. Although there are interesting travel stories…

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“Healing Captive Hearts – A Special Invitation”

If you would like to support this amazing Ministry, read below

LIVING FROM A HEALED HEART

Together, we have a great opportunity to help some very special women find healing for their broken and captive hearts. Let us explain . . .

Captive Hearts (www.captivehearts.org) is an outreach ministry in California for women who have been released from jail or prison and are given follow-up care, guidance and loving support. The staff teach classes in the jails and in the after care program. Captive Hearts offers a rehabilitation program to help the women get back on their feet. No matter the means of their arrival, the women come face to face with their root issues, in an environment of healing and acceptance through unconditional love.

LeeAnn Smith, a Certified Drug & Alcohol Counselor with Captive Hearts, has been teaching a weekly class each quarter on our book, The Missing Commandment: Love Yourself. We have provided her with books for two of her classes. She recently contacted…

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